I do, but you don't have to

I think every person gives thought to spending the rest of their life with someone. From the beginning we're giving bridal Barbies to play with, we're dressed up in pretty white dresses and play pretend bride in others' weddings. Our society tells us over and over again 'One day someone will love you so much that you'll gather everyone around you to celebrate that love.' It isn't until you're older that they add 'But this will only happen if...'

At different times in history the conditions were numerous, some legal while others were social. You could only have a marriage if you were both a certain age. You could only have a marriage if you were both born a certain color. You could only have a marriage if you were parts of the same faith. These limitations were put in place to maintain the status quo of the time. But as people realized that life expectancy was expanding, getting married at 14 became less common and we evolved. As couples of different racial backgrounds met and developed loving relationships the laws evolved. The same was true when people of different faiths did the same. Evolution happened.

Now even as things changed, things still remained the same for some people. There are still people of devout religions who only marry within their religion. There are still people who get married under the age of 18. There are still people who only marry another who shares their racial or ethnic background. None of these people have allowed change, be they social or legal, stop them from practicing what they believe.

As the same sex marriage debate wages on, I see many religious banners saying that they're not hateful for not wanting same sex marriages. And they're right. They're not hateful for wanting same sex marriages. What they are is discriminatory. They want certain conditions to be met in order to allow marriage. If you and your partner don't have opposing genitalia, they feel that you don't qualify for married status. And while that may be true within the context of their church, that doesn't mean it should be the same within our society.

I was raised that we live in a unique melting pot. A mix of different races, ethnic backgrounds, religions and the beauty of America has been we've evolved to living together with ambitions of equality and prosperity for all. With so many views and ideals, this isn't easy. But we've come to rely on mutual respect to keep us focused. We've built laws based on respect of person, property and rights for those who live within our borders and beyond.  

Same sex marriage isn't about if you believe in being gay or not. It's about having the rights your neighbors have. It's removing conditions that are excluding a part of our population. If you don't 'believe' in gay marriage (I use the quotes because it's not a unicorn, it's real and happens) then don't practice it. Add that to your list of things that aren't for you, but don't use the law to make it something that isn't for everyone. None of us can, not one, can speak for every person in this country. Much as we like to, it's impossible. But what is possible is allowing everyone pursue life, love and happiness within the bounds of respect.

Don't believe in gay marriage. Or do. But don't deny people the respect of having the same rights you enjoy.